ASHLEY CASATELLI

young adult, or the pros and cons of moving home

After not living with my parents for the better part of 5 years, the transition has been less than seamless. It’s been rough, and then again, it hasn’t. It’s been dramatic and it’s been so comforting.

Pros.

1. exotic food choices i.e. avocados, artichokes, assorted jams, pasta in the sizes and shapes I prefer.

2. hearing my mother’s euphemisms in real life, rather than them echoing in my brain, or even better, on the tip of my tongue. 

3. a parking spot, always. 

4. jess being my living, breathing diary. I like coming home and telling her all the things I awkwardly told people, or the outlandish shit I couldn’t dare say. The inappropriate outfits I saw, the gossip I’ve heard. Then she judges me, and it’s great and awful at the same time. Oh, and her 21 year old advice, it’s hilarious and chock-full of the cocky youngness I [sometimes] yearn for. then she’s had enough of my dance moves and me touching her trinkets, and she [freshly] tells me to get out of her room. and then she beats on our adjacent wall like a silver back gorilla when my music is too loud, or too folky. 

5. no crack heads, bodegas, or suspicious activity in general.

Cons.

1. rampant hypochondria: “You look thin, you’re going to have blood work done.”, “Your skin looks awful. I’m making you a dermatoligist appointment.”, “You better take that Allegra on an empty stomach!!!!” 

2. virtually zero anonymity. I get itchy thinking of certain people I’d rather not run into from my home town. And before I can think that thought, they are texting me because they ran into my grandparents who informed them I am back, INDEFINITELY. FOREVER.

3. non-stop interrogation. Who’s he???? What is he? When are you going to see him again? Where’s he from? Why’d you say that???!!! Before coffee, this is just unacceptable. I don’t really like to speak before 10 a.m.

4. lots of wealthy white old people driving 25 m.p.h.